Going to Canada eh ?

A few more words that caught us out

birdie =  shuttlecock the thing you hit in Badminton

baseboard = skirting board

wagon (as model of car ) = estate car

take a boo = take a look

vest= waistcoat or sleeveless body warmer or gilet or tank top

top = t-shirt or shirt or polo shirt

roll neck = polo neck

• shoes = court shoes, ballet shoes, stillettos, sling-backs, wedges, platforms
• runners = trainers (they have trainers, but don’t ask for them, usually top end of the market)
• sneakers = plimsoles, pumps, gym shoes
• loafers = hush puppies, deck shoes, espadrilles, slippers
• moccasins = sandals, flip-flops, gellies
• boots = ankle boots, knee boots, thigh boots, moon boots, hiking boots, biker boots, wellies

roadside turnout= layby

parking lane = hard shoulder

helper= in a work environment= assistant but not in a shop (store) here they have sales associates.

helper= on the railway a helper is a banking engine (one at the back of a heavy train pushing it up a steep incline)

helper= in food a Hamburger Helper is a packet meal added to minced beef to make a pasta dish

aid = carer for disabled passenger on bus or plane

pop = any carbonated drink ie fizzy drink

When we knew we were leaving the UK we wrote to Vodafone in March telling them we would be leaving at the end of May. So they disconnected the phone in April and asked if they could be our service provider in our new home. What part of moving to Canada didn’t they understand ?

The phone was reinstated but then they forgot to cancel it when  we did move out.  As a result we were being charged line rental and phone calls for the new occupier. We were able to cancel the direct debit and get the payments credited back to Pete’s bank account.

Now Vodafone were totaly confused and started sending threatening letters about non payment. I in turn emailed their customer services dept who treated each email as a new issue rather than look back and see what was said on the last email.

Eventually they put the bill with a debt collection agency but the only contact method they gave the agency was my old mobile number. Luckily although I had cancelled the contract on the mobile I had kept it as pay as you go number for emergencies and saw the text message.

Finally I saw there was no alternative, I had to phone them up and hope that there was inteligent life in a call center. I did manage to get one guy who sounded like he knew what he was doing. He agreed to phone me back at work but couldnt get through. Apparently although I gave him my phone number and told him I was in Canada he didnt know that he need to put 00 in front of the number to make an overseas call ! ( You would think working for a telephone company should have known that, unless it is different in Ireland)

After a few more calls and emails they agreed to and 84 pound credit and the bill would be re issued in January. No they could not post me the bill as they werent allowed to send them out of the country and no they couldnt email it unless it was as reply to one of my emails. Why didn’t I look on the my account ? because they blocked the account when it went into arrears.

On the appointed day I sent an email to customer services to ask for the bill only to be  told the customer services email address had been discontinued and any enquiry would have to be made via the contact form on their web site.

To use this form you have to give your vodafone moble number. What if you dont have a mobile from them  ? Is this just a way of cutting down complaints  by making it more difficult for people to complain ? Why not improve  the service you give your customers ?

At the end of January I finally got another bill……….for exactly the same amount they were trying to get from me last November. After few emails and I got a bill showing the credit had been applied. I phoned up to make payment by credit card only to be asked to pay the full 136 pounds ie with out the credit. How I kept my cool I dont know especialy as the call “was being recorded for quality control and training purposes “.

All I can say is they are not recording enough as their staff seem to lack both trainig and competance, and their whole organisation seems deficient inthe quality control department.  We are not surprised they are axing over 500 jobs, why not axe all of them ?

Conclusion if you are thinking of taking out a contract with Vodafone  DONT .

Well I guess we had to say something about TV sooner or later. When we first moved into Silver Drive we were spoilt for choice. There were channels with wall to wall CSI repeats and Pete had trouble working out which ones he had seen and which episodes were from the current series. Lin went for the Old Star Trek episodes (the original series no less) which were broadcast around midnight.

Curiously the 24hr clock does not seem to have been adopted by the TV schedulers or the manufacturers of video recorders so we did get confused with 12 AM and 12 PM.

Arriving in Broadway Village we found we had lost many of the channels we were used to. We checked with the cable company and found that we were only on the basic package but in Silver Drive we had been getting more than we had paid for.

Because of the intrusive nature of commercials the only channel we watch in real time is the weather channel. Vital to know if its going to be freezing tomorrow morning etc.there is a public service broadcasting channel that originates down in the states. It doesnt seem to have commercial breaks but does announce sponsorship of programmes before they start. It brings us the BBC world news at 6 oclock and lists sponsors including ” The Newmans Own Foundation”. So keep eating that salad dressing so we can see whats going on in the world.

Pete’s diet includes the CSI trio, House and NCIS that he watched in the UK plus Bones. Bones is apparently base on the Kathy Reichs character Dr Temperance Brennan(?). Well they got the name the same and the profession but everything else was changed to suit the American market.  Lin doesnt watch TV as there’s nothing worth watching apparently ?

With all the moves and changes Pete lost a lot of the continuity in the various series. Like what happen when DiNozzo got into the car with the french arms dealer and who killed him? What was all the funny business that led up to Director Shepherd being killed  ? How did Amber die? and how come we finally got to use her real name but 13 is still called 13?

What deal did Pete Townsend’s agent do with the producers of the CSI franchise to get all 3 series to use Who tracks as their intro music.

We are sure some will say that the main reason for us moving was so that Pete could find a new audience for his old jokes.

However many jokes don’t work over here because differences in the life style etc.

For example:

When the clocks went back one hour this guy stayed up all night trying to work out how to change the time on Ceefax. This doesnt work because they dont have teletext here. I dont know if its because most people have cable rather than broadcast television.

The man who bought a black and white dog because he thought the license would be cheaper.

This plays on the UK TV license fee for black and white  being cheaper than colour. Over here there is no TV license fee however they do still have dog licences. We have one for our cat, and as she is black is she cheaper than a colour one ?

Finally there is the man who goes to the doctor having swallowed a snooker ball and the Doctor says ” get to the end of the queue”. A play on the words cue and queue sounding the same. Doesnt work here because they dont have a queue they have a line.

Ok not strictly about Canada but I didn’t get to see it until we came over here. I found the Discworld series of books quite late in their life, most had been written so I went on a crash course of reading to catch up. I was disappointed when it was Sky who filmed the Hogfather as we were unable to watch it at the time, but it was better that they made it than no one.

We were in the video rental store looking for discs to entertain David when I saw this in the children’s section. This surprised me a bit, not because viewer discretion is advised as they say over here but because the concepts in the story are a bit abstract.

TP (as the fans call him) has been writing about wizards long before a small boy with a funny scar and John Lennon glasses made them famous, but it has taken a lot longer for his books to be made into films.

The film itself was very well made but without prior knowledge of Bloody Stupid Johnson or a narration if you hadn’t read the book you would not understand the dangers involved in the Chancellor using the bathroom he designed.

For me the funniest line was when death, played by the late Ian Richardson said ” You may think that but I can’t possibly comment”. The line was of course borrowed from one of Ian’s other characters Francis Urquart in House of Cards. A reference that would be lost on audiences over here.

The bonus features were a big let down. OK I only rented it for the film, but the interview with TP was so cringeingly awful I switched off. It was filmed very amateurishly. There was no microphone on the interviewer so her voice was some ghostly intervention from a body unseen. At times I thought the camera was hand held because of the shakes and juddering zooms. The editing was so bad that at one point TP gave the answer to the same question twice.

It seemed totally incongruous that such a professionally made film was packaged with such an amateurish interview.

The local library has come up trumps with a copy of Nation (TPs latest book) so I shall have some good reading over the holidays.

We have noticed that some Canadians finish their sentences with “Eh?” Much the same as some other  people say isn’t it, init, right or n’est pas.

The two main roads between Blackfalds and Red Deer are Highway 2 and Highway 2A. So it seems possible that a conversation might go:

“Did you come on the 2 eh ?”

“No it was the 2A eh ”

“Or even the QE2 eh ?”

Not a ship “just the other name for Highway 2″ eh ?